Right now I have a lot of different things running through my head. I'm trying not to worry about my cousin. I'm trying not to worry about my best friend. I'm trying not to worry about me...
I can't really talk about everything that's going on right now because some of it is very personal to other people.
Stress is a funny thing you know? It affects us both body and mind, and just when you think your finally handling it well, you realize your not.
Right now I have a lot going on that's stressful. I'm trying hard not to let it get to me. I know that worry won't do anything to make my life longer. I know that freaking out doesn't help anything. I also know that stressing out makes my lungs and migraines worse.
So what do I do?
Depends on the day. Some days I just bury myself in the routine and try not to focus on the things that are upsetting me. Other days I've learned I have to just let myself feel the emotions and let them pass. Those days I usually end up reading a lot. I've found I can work things out in the back of my mind while I'm reading a book.
The last 24 hours has been one of those "reading a lot" times. I found out yesterday that the organization that I thought was going to be helping me with my disability can't help me after all. That was a lot to take in. The good news is that I found a lawyer already through a friend. He told me what the next steps are (I actually don't need his help at this point), and if I get denied a second time I'll call him again for help. So...while that did stress me out, it's working out ok.
Then something happened with my best friend last night. I can't talk about it, and it's going to be ok, but suffice it to say having that happen on top of the disability stuff was a lot to take.
I'm such an over achiever it's hard not to beat myself up when I have a day where I need to just work through my emotions and I let my normal routine drop. But I'm learning too. If I let myself work through things, like today, then things go much smoother than if I try to force myself when things get too bad.
All this to say...ya...I get emotional when things get bad...but I'm going to get through it...I've learned to cope. Sometimes I don't cope well, other times I do, but life moves on.
Thanks for listening.