This last week has been a full one for me - emotionally at least. I started a couple weeks ago gathering the information needed to apply for disability, got derailed by some life stuff, and sat down about week ago to start the application. It's a long process!
The first couple of steps were on-line. First I had to fill out a bunch of questions that basically proved that I'm eligible to apply for disability. Then I filled out the basic application. At this point I don't even remember what was on it. Mostly questions like "why do you think you qualify?" and general info questions. It wasn't actually too hard, but just making myself do it was really hard emotionally. I think it got easier once I had done that part because I had gotten over that first hurdle of making myself push through the emotion to do it.
The next step was MUCH longer! They said it only takes up to 3 hours...I think it took me about 5. This was the part where I had to fill in all my medical information and work history. It felt like a million questions! I could only work on it for about an hour or so before my stress levels would get to high and I'd have to stop. I finished that yesterday finally!
Today I took in the signed medical release forms. I was so mad about that too! Ok, so the web-site told me I needed to bring in 18 signed release forms. So I printed them up, filled them out (name, ssn, b-day, sig, addy, phone), and ended up with major writers cramp. We go in and what does the lady say? "Oh we only need one of those honey."
And then my husband asks me in the car why I hadn't filled one out and photo copied the rest...
*larger forehead slap*
I was not a happy camper. Apparently I'm pretty funny when I start swearing in Spanish and random British terms though...and pounding the steering wheel... (sorry Mom, I'm not perfect)
But the important part is....it's done! At least for now. *sigh* I still have to apply for SSI, but I'm waiting them to call me before I can do that. I guess one's a state thing and the other is federal? I guess I'll figure it all out eventually.
I was amazed at how emotionally draining this has been. It makes sense I guess, I mean I was having to repeat all the medical information about the last two years, bringing up all the memories, and listing out my medical problems and medications was NOT fun. But I was surprised by some of the things that upset me. Like filling out my work history. I expected that to be simply annoying, but I almost started crying thinking about all the things I can't do any more!
Ok, this is a pretty depressing post, but I wanted to share what's been going on. Cuz I know you guys care :) I'm doing ok. Knowing I don't have any more paper work to fill out (for a few days at least) helps a lot! Moses has been incredibly supportive and understanding through all of this. I don't know how I would have held it together with out him! And hey, who knows? I might actually get accepted...that would relieve a LOT of stress!